May 2013
56 posts
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starksexual:
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
Earlier yesterday evening I was explaining to my friend about how you can tease your hair with your fingers.
Later, we’re in the bathroom in a bar, and she’s teasing her hair while I’m in the stall peeing. She says
“If only I knew I could’ve used my fingers this whole time!”
In which I reply, from the stall, “That’s what she said!”
I...
Brent: Feed me a bunch of McDonald's and throw me in Afghanistan.
Brent: War. Over.
13 tags
I. need. some. fucking. beats.
I have some songs I really wanna do. Some raps that are sitting around wasting. I just want to get shit done already.
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Pretty sure my husband spends 75% of our time together checking out/patting/rubbing/massaging/grabbing my ass.
sweetdez:
detrea:
fuckyeahhugsandkisses:
a-little-insane:
the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk
The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt
The best part about the big spoon is that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I cry alone in...
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I just went to put something on a bottom shelf and getting back up I let out the most awkward sexualized moan/groan. Looking back up, no one was here. Whew.
naraxbara:
nyehs:
DID YOU KNOW THAT “HECK” IS A COMBINATION OF “HELL” AND “FUCK” A WORD CREATED OUT OF TWO BAD WORDS THAT IS TREATED AS THE LAMEST WORD EVER WHEN IN REALITY IT IS DOUBLE BAD
JUST LIKE “SHUCKS” IT’S A MIXTURE OF “SHIT” AND “FUCK” AND THEN YOU REALIZE THAT GOOFY USED TO SAY THAT ALL THE DAMN TIME
Awwwwe shucks! Dang it all to heck!
This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both of Us:... →
luciacomics:
Portlanders and New Yorkers! Some info on my upcoming music/comedy shows:
Upcoming shows: 5/3 Fly Ass Jokes at the Brody Theater 16 NW Broadway, Portland OR https://www.facebook.com/events/605811219430771/ 5/9 Lucia Fasano/Crisis Arm/Tiny Hearts/Love Cop at Laughing Horse …
I’m pretty sure I have some followers in New York…go check Lucia out!
I’ve done so well the last few weeks. But I can feel myself slip into that rut of a mood. I don’t want to be pulled down again into those depths, but I get so weak. I must hold strong, hold my head up, and now drown again.