Back To Size

BRE: Well, let’s see. I’m 26 years old and a newlywed to an amazing man. I am stubborn and quite lazy, which makes losing weight really hard. I like to draw occasionally, and knit more often. I also sew, and take up many random hobbies. I’m a shortie at 5’1” and enjoy being small. 

I’m sure y’all are wondering why I have a fitblr/weightloss blog/ tumblr in general, right? Well let’s talk about my weight a bit. Ever since I can remember I’ve always had a little pouch. I was never overweight or fat, just not very fit or athletic, soft and had thunder thighs like no other. Mostly in middle & high school is when my belly was a bit more noticeable.

Me on the right - 13 or 14 years old?

Even though I wanted to be skinnier, I never could commit to actually exercise, not like I would’ve known what I was doing anyways. Diets were out of the question since I loved junk food too much, and once again, wasn’t fat, just..soft.

15 or 16 years old - on the left.

A few years back I was with my ex, and he pointed out I gained some weight. I actually new I did, I just didn’t want to think about it. The sad thing is that when he first met me I was pretty tiny then, prbly around 100lbs. My usual weight was about 110 - 115lbs, so that was the lowest I even been in my adult life, that was put on by living with my brother and some crackheads in an apartment for a month that didn’t have food. I accidently starved myself.

June 2005 - 18 years old

When I moved out across the country to live with my mom, it actually took me a while to eat normal portions.

Anyways, back to gaining weight. 

Yeah, the ex pointed it out and it hurt my feelings. Then at some point we broke up and a month later I moved into my dads house, back across the country again. During the break up I lost a few lbs apparently, because I was the lowest number (since when I moved out the its time I never actually weighted myself) of 106lbs. I don’t think I even really look that small is the funny thing, I mean, I had the belly still, junk in the trunk, and yes, as I previously mentioned, the thunder thighs.

So I gained a little weight back, which was prbly a good thing and for the next two years balanced on me being happy that I wasn’t obese, but a bit bummed I was so soft.

2008 or 2009 Somewhere between 20 - 21 years old. 

Lets fast forward to a couple years ago.

I started working at a fabric store that I was standing up a lot during the day, and moving a lot and doing tons of cutting, and all the activity was keeping me somewhat active. Even stopping by the gym some.

Then I started to do more desk work at the store. This turned out bad. I slowly gained 5lbs at a time, and by that summer, I was about 130lbs. My then boyfriend (now husband) and I went to visit my mom across the country, and bam there was 5 more pounds, but it didn’t stop. Finally about 140, creeping towards 145 I decided to get off my lazy ass and actually do something about it. I tried slimfast & special K, and lots of vegetables. I kept accidently eating not enough calories and finally decided to just eat healthier and cleaner.

And now?

I’m trying to get into running, and enjoy exercising more. Trying to not craves too many sweets, and be healthy. I’m trying to enjoy more vegs & fruits, and enjoy their sweetness.

I’m trying to make sure I consume enough calories everyday to not go into starvation mode.

Mostly, I’m trying to be the old me, but better. I want to be healthy, yes. But I would be lying if I didn’t say it was also for for shallow reasons.